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WHEN I GET SOBER

by FVNERAL

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1.
SOBER 04:01
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What a surprise, I’m fucking wasted again It’s 3am and I’m right back where I began Wrap me up in blankets, tonight I’m sleeping on the floor As blood pumps whiskey through my veins and my body sings the song of war Maybe when I get sober I’ll cut the bullshit and say sorry to my friends I’ll run back to my fathers house and shake his gentle hand again Maybe when I get sober Sat on the edge of our broken bath tub Held your hand while you pee'd onto a stick before you snapped it in half Summer’s over now and all our money’s gone And we both know that I will always owe you so much more Maybe when I get sober I’ll cut the bullshit and say sorry to my friends I’ll march back to my mothers house and I’ll hold her in my arms again, Maybe when I get sober Help me up, I’ll fall right back down Into the starving mouth of this dead-end town Clinging to rags of your blanket of love I don’t want you to leave but my dear you need to run If you help me up, I’ll fall right back down Into the starving mouth of this dead-end town Kick me right up the ass but believe me when I say I’m gonna fight I’m gonna cry by God I’m gonna be okay I’m gonna be okay
2.
GOODB(i)YE 03:51
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Mid morning mid November Thought I felt footsteps down the hall They walk straight to the tiny shower I hear him curse as he slips Knocking empty shampoo bottles to the floor I wanna fill my cup With the feelings I’m hiding As I watch the sweat drip down Down the small of his spine I am so tired of panic attacks So sick of lying right through my teeth Man fuck the self loathing Watch me wave it all goodbye I know you’re still angry with your father And you’re so tired of being sad You say you feel guilty when you miss him But now somehow Carbon monoxide doesn’t really smell so bad I wanna fill my cup With the feelings I’m hiding As I watch the sweat drip down Down the small of his spine I am so tired of panic attacks So sick of lying right through my teeth Man fuck the self loathing Watch me wave it all goodbye Waiting for someone to tell the truth I took 23 years to tell myself I’m Waiting for someone, waiting for no-one Blaming everybody else I’m Waiting for someone to tell the truth I took 23 years to tell myself I’m Waiting for someone, waiting for no-one Hurting everybody else
3.
CALIFORNIA STREET 03:57
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It’s cold tonight and we’re coming down much quicker than we’d like But out on California Street there's nothing left to hide I know any minute now all of this could come crashing down Got a magnet on your fridge says I should open up my heart I, I will be better than this I, I will try harder Even when we’re too stoned to move you cry yourself to sleep Are you thinking of your mumma all alone in Los Angeles? I’m desperate to find anything remotely adorable to say The photo in your wallet of her is starting to fade I, I will be better than this I, I will try harder I, I will be better than this I, I will try harder I know change is hard and my hope is silent But I won't lie down ‘til you can lay beside me And I’ll pound my chest, ‘cause darling I’m still frightened But I will not rest ‘til I am better than this I know change is hard and my hope is silent But I won't lie down ‘til you can lay beside me And I’ll pound my chest, ‘cause darling I’m still frightened But I will not rest ‘til I am better than this
4.
EVER KNOWN 04:25
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I haven't said anything in days Since they told me you're going away I guess I'm waiting for the silence When they switch off all of these machines 7 missed calls from my little sister A better man would always answer Surviving on sandwiches and booze We held each other in the waiting room But the place That you’ll go Is better than anything you’ve ever known You’ve ever known My hands trembled and yours were calm You drew a picture on both my palms And on that cold, dark Sunday night I finally saw my father cry The nurse came in with her head hung low But I pretended not to know For one last time I touched your face I heard everything that you could not say But the place That you'll go Is better than anything you’ve ever known You’ve ever known
5.
GOD DAMN LEDs 02:58
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My tired mind is blank Codeine runs through my veins I’m fucking wired but I haven’t slept in days These goddamn LEDs I hear them laughing back at me They’ve got such a morbid sense of irony Take the wheel back, take the wheel back Open up my eyes right before I crash I step inside as I burn it down Watch me burn it down Only you, only you Could have me coming up just to fight for air I swear, my dear, you were heaven sent Only you, only you Could have me coming up just to fight for air I swear, my dear, you were heaven sent Storm clouds roll on in We promise we won’t hide Did I forget that I still owe death a life? And now the cops will say They’re only here to keep us safe While we beg for help they’re laughing in our face Take the wheel back, take the wheel back Open up my eyes right before I crash I step inside as I burn it down Watch me burn it down Only you, only you Could have me coming up just to fight for air I swear, my dear, you were heaven sent Only you, only you Could have me coming up just to fight for air I swear, my dear, you were heaven sent Only you, only you You had me coming up just to fight for air I swear, my dear, you were heaven sent Only you, only you You had me coming up just to fight for air I swear, my dear, you were heaven sent
6.
GOD DAMN LEDs (Lakelend Remix) 03:10
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released October 19, 2022

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FVNERAL Sydney, Australia

FVNERAL is a collective of seven friends who became each other’s chosen family throughout some truly dark days. They articulate the heaviest parts of the human experience, turning up for each other in the difficult times and finding joy in overcoming them together. FVNERAL find their strength in working as a creative collective existing at the intersection of song, film, and visual art. ... more

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